Not a Quandary After All
So I'm currently in a bit of a quandary. Here's my situation:
I am currently working at a residential children's center in Thomasville, Georgia. I've been employed there since about the middle of April of this year. It's a cool job as jobs go. I'm the therapist for the boys who live on what we call our intermediate level unit. These boys are here mostly because they were removed from their homes by the Department of Family and Children Services due to being abused, neglected or both. Most were placed in numerous foster homes prior to coming to live here, but were unable to be maintained by foster parents because of the severity of their disruptive behaviors. The kids I see range in age from 13-17 and have a variety of issues. I see them all for formal therapy sessions once a week and throughout the week on an informal basis.
Sometimes I just hang out on the cottage they live in and talk to them about whatever they want to talk about or go outside and play basketball with them. It's a job I enjoy more than any job I've ever had. I've really formed a strong relationship with almost all of them. I'm not always Mr. Softy to them. I let them know right up front when I think they've messed up, but I'm always full of rewards and positive comments when they do the right thing. I feel almost like I'm their big brother. I like to think I'm really making a positive difference in their lives.
Now here's where the quandary comes in:
My girlfriend, Deirdre, originally moved to Thomasville with me back in March of this year. Prior to moving here, we both lived in Savannah and were sharing an apartment together. She was offered a job managing a restaurant in this area and wanted to move here to take it. I was very dissatisfied with my job in Savannah and my hometown is only about a thirty minute drive from Thomasville, so it wasn't a hard sale for her to convince me to quit my job and move over here with her.
So that's what we did.
It took me a month, but I was fortunate enough to get hired at the place I work at now. Deirdre, on the other hand wound up only working at the restaurant that had hired her for about two months. She had a personality conflict with a supervisor there and was let go. Then she had a horrible time finding another job. Meanwhile, the rent for the apartment we were staying in plus my other expenses was taking up my entire pay check and she and I were having to live almost like paupers on my single income. On top of this, I began to become very unsure about our relationship in general. I started to have doubts that she and I should be together at all.
I shared these doubts with her and after about a month of her trying to convince me I was wrong to have doubts, and me telling her I was not wrong, and of general misery all around, she packed up all of her things and moved back to Savannah.
After she left, I told myself for awhile that I was glad she was gone. It was so good to have my independence back and not to have her weighing me down all the time. But it didn't take long for me to realize I was fooling myself and that I was actually more miserable now that she was gone than I was when she was there and we were bickering back and forth half the time. I thought of all the reasons why I missed her so much. It was because she was so loyal and committed to me and also because I just missed our relationship in general: watching shows on MTV with her, downloading music on the computer and singing it together, walking her (our) dogs together, going swimming in the apt. pool late at night together, reading all of my stories to her, not to mention having her beside me to sleep with every night. The cliche is true I suppose. You don't know you have a good thing until it's gone.
But I decided I wanted it back. So one weekend I drove to Savannah to see her without even telling her I was coming in advance. I got there and we had the most romantic weekend of my life. Since then I've been driving the four and a half hours to see her every weekend. It is wonderful to see her on weekends, but the rest of the week is pretty much a drag. I feel like my life is pretty much on hold as long as I'm here and she's there, but we're still together. So I told her at the beginning of September that I was going to move to Savannah to be with her by the end of November whether I had a job or not. She's found a steady job there and is starting a second part time one as well, so at least there's that to keep us afloat until I find something.
I've already let my boss here know that I'm leaving at the end of the month although I can't say I'm leaving without some reservations. I doubt that I will enjoy my next job more than this one and it has been very tough to tell the kids I'm leaving. I could ask her to move back down here with me and she probably would, but it just seems to me that we need to live our life in Savannah and not Thomasville. Savannah is the place I want to be. I love the city, especially the downtown area and the beach. Being there feels like home to me. Realizing how much I liked living in Savannah was another thing I didn't fully know until I moved away.
So I suppose there's not actually a quandary for me after all. I know what I'm going to do although it's scary to think about not having a source of income for awhile. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed and making a leap of faith. To me, I believe that it's the right thing to do and maybe more importantly in this case, it's what I want to do as well.
I am currently working at a residential children's center in Thomasville, Georgia. I've been employed there since about the middle of April of this year. It's a cool job as jobs go. I'm the therapist for the boys who live on what we call our intermediate level unit. These boys are here mostly because they were removed from their homes by the Department of Family and Children Services due to being abused, neglected or both. Most were placed in numerous foster homes prior to coming to live here, but were unable to be maintained by foster parents because of the severity of their disruptive behaviors. The kids I see range in age from 13-17 and have a variety of issues. I see them all for formal therapy sessions once a week and throughout the week on an informal basis.
Sometimes I just hang out on the cottage they live in and talk to them about whatever they want to talk about or go outside and play basketball with them. It's a job I enjoy more than any job I've ever had. I've really formed a strong relationship with almost all of them. I'm not always Mr. Softy to them. I let them know right up front when I think they've messed up, but I'm always full of rewards and positive comments when they do the right thing. I feel almost like I'm their big brother. I like to think I'm really making a positive difference in their lives.
Now here's where the quandary comes in:
My girlfriend, Deirdre, originally moved to Thomasville with me back in March of this year. Prior to moving here, we both lived in Savannah and were sharing an apartment together. She was offered a job managing a restaurant in this area and wanted to move here to take it. I was very dissatisfied with my job in Savannah and my hometown is only about a thirty minute drive from Thomasville, so it wasn't a hard sale for her to convince me to quit my job and move over here with her.
So that's what we did.
It took me a month, but I was fortunate enough to get hired at the place I work at now. Deirdre, on the other hand wound up only working at the restaurant that had hired her for about two months. She had a personality conflict with a supervisor there and was let go. Then she had a horrible time finding another job. Meanwhile, the rent for the apartment we were staying in plus my other expenses was taking up my entire pay check and she and I were having to live almost like paupers on my single income. On top of this, I began to become very unsure about our relationship in general. I started to have doubts that she and I should be together at all.
I shared these doubts with her and after about a month of her trying to convince me I was wrong to have doubts, and me telling her I was not wrong, and of general misery all around, she packed up all of her things and moved back to Savannah.
After she left, I told myself for awhile that I was glad she was gone. It was so good to have my independence back and not to have her weighing me down all the time. But it didn't take long for me to realize I was fooling myself and that I was actually more miserable now that she was gone than I was when she was there and we were bickering back and forth half the time. I thought of all the reasons why I missed her so much. It was because she was so loyal and committed to me and also because I just missed our relationship in general: watching shows on MTV with her, downloading music on the computer and singing it together, walking her (our) dogs together, going swimming in the apt. pool late at night together, reading all of my stories to her, not to mention having her beside me to sleep with every night. The cliche is true I suppose. You don't know you have a good thing until it's gone.
But I decided I wanted it back. So one weekend I drove to Savannah to see her without even telling her I was coming in advance. I got there and we had the most romantic weekend of my life. Since then I've been driving the four and a half hours to see her every weekend. It is wonderful to see her on weekends, but the rest of the week is pretty much a drag. I feel like my life is pretty much on hold as long as I'm here and she's there, but we're still together. So I told her at the beginning of September that I was going to move to Savannah to be with her by the end of November whether I had a job or not. She's found a steady job there and is starting a second part time one as well, so at least there's that to keep us afloat until I find something.
I've already let my boss here know that I'm leaving at the end of the month although I can't say I'm leaving without some reservations. I doubt that I will enjoy my next job more than this one and it has been very tough to tell the kids I'm leaving. I could ask her to move back down here with me and she probably would, but it just seems to me that we need to live our life in Savannah and not Thomasville. Savannah is the place I want to be. I love the city, especially the downtown area and the beach. Being there feels like home to me. Realizing how much I liked living in Savannah was another thing I didn't fully know until I moved away.
So I suppose there's not actually a quandary for me after all. I know what I'm going to do although it's scary to think about not having a source of income for awhile. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed and making a leap of faith. To me, I believe that it's the right thing to do and maybe more importantly in this case, it's what I want to do as well.
posted by Charlie at 11:56 AM
4 Comments:
There you go, then! Following your heart almost never steers you wrong. You'll find another job.
By the way, is it possible that I'm from your hometown? Thomasville is right up the road (but I'm in Florida)...
I think you've chosen wisely. Savannah is very cool. Your love is there. The job will come. What you do is important and I'm sure there will be something for you eventually. As for the restaurant business, my stepdaughter is a GM and she has moved countless times from coast to coast. That's the nature of it. But a resort type town like that has to have more opportunities than most. So you two may have hit on the right place. Good luck with it. I just think it's gonna work out well.
My boyfriend and I have have been doing the long distance thing for sometime now. Circumstances have never allowed us to change all that, until now that is. I like to think if we can make it through that, we can make it through anything.
I know it's a cliche but we really don't often know what we've missed until its gone. Long distance relationships are hard, so I give you lots of credit for making the move to be with your girlfriend and I hope the new job search works out for you.
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