What's On Your Mind??
So this is my second blog entry ever. Thinking of what to write here reminds me of a question I'm often asked by my girlfriend when I suppose I'm looking slightly more pensive, distracted or befuddled than usual.
What's on your mind?
I hate that question. Is it really a question that can be answered honestly without expounding for several days? When you are asked what's on your mind, does that mean you're supposed to say the last thought that you consciously had or does it mean that you're supposed to share every single thing that's you've thought about for the last hour or day or week or year or within your lifetime. Should I talk about my thoughts on the meaning of life, the constant conflict between religion and science, my thought provoking ideas about the important social issues facing our nation, the relative importance of space exploration or should I talk about how it's almost time to trim my fingernails or what brand of toothpaste I really prefer? It is an impossibly broad question and one that would take a lifetime to answer thoroughly And as soon one reported all that's on his or her mind, there would be more to take its place. It's an interminable loop really. How could a person really expect an answer to such a question?
Is there a difference in what's on your mind and what's in your mind? Usually when she asks me this question, I am on the phone with her and watching a football game. My mind is half on our conversation and half on the game. What's on your mind? is usually my signal that she's feeling quite rightly that she doesn't have my full attention. My oft-used and somewhat transparent strategy is to not answer the question by saying something like: If the Falcons can make one more first down, they may have this game in the bag. I think they ought to hand it off to Dunn one more time and let him get the job done. Such a response would likely not endear me to my beloved's heart and would also confirm her strongly held suspicions that she is not on my mind to the extent that she desires. Instead of this response, I will say: I was just thinking about how nice it will be when I can be with you in person again every night and we can cuddle on the couch like we used to instead of being reduced to phone conversations like this. (She lives in the beautiful city of Savannah, GA right now while I'm marooned in the plains of a Southwest Georgia hamlet.)
She is slightly mollified by this response but not entirely convinced. "You weren't thinking about that. You were thinking about the football game." She is right of course, but I'm not quite ready to throw in the towel.
"Well yeah, I was thinking about the football game, but I was thinking about what I told you too. That thought was just a little further back in my mind when you asked me. Anyway, if you already knew what was on my mind, why did you ask me?"
"I wanted to see if you would tell me," she says.
"And I did tell you," I respond. "Anyway, what's on your mind?" (Reflecting is also a useful strategy in dealing with this troublesome question I've found.)
"I was thinking about how much I love you."
"Why do you have to be so cheesy?" I say. "I love you too by the way."
Then I'm distracted by the sight of a uniformed man running down the field carrying an oblong pigskin spheroid more commonly called a football. He is dodging would-be tacklers and at last somesaults into the end zone and instantly mobbed by his adoring, ecstatic teammates.
"YEAH!" I exclaim, standing up with my arms raised, nearly dropping the phone entirely in my excitement. "Michael Vick is a bad man!" I say. "He just went sixty yards for a touchdown!"
"Ha ha!" she exclaims. "I see what's on your mind!"
"Oh well," I say, defeated.
She's a smart girl, my girlfriend.
What's on your mind?
I hate that question. Is it really a question that can be answered honestly without expounding for several days? When you are asked what's on your mind, does that mean you're supposed to say the last thought that you consciously had or does it mean that you're supposed to share every single thing that's you've thought about for the last hour or day or week or year or within your lifetime. Should I talk about my thoughts on the meaning of life, the constant conflict between religion and science, my thought provoking ideas about the important social issues facing our nation, the relative importance of space exploration or should I talk about how it's almost time to trim my fingernails or what brand of toothpaste I really prefer? It is an impossibly broad question and one that would take a lifetime to answer thoroughly And as soon one reported all that's on his or her mind, there would be more to take its place. It's an interminable loop really. How could a person really expect an answer to such a question?
Is there a difference in what's on your mind and what's in your mind? Usually when she asks me this question, I am on the phone with her and watching a football game. My mind is half on our conversation and half on the game. What's on your mind? is usually my signal that she's feeling quite rightly that she doesn't have my full attention. My oft-used and somewhat transparent strategy is to not answer the question by saying something like: If the Falcons can make one more first down, they may have this game in the bag. I think they ought to hand it off to Dunn one more time and let him get the job done. Such a response would likely not endear me to my beloved's heart and would also confirm her strongly held suspicions that she is not on my mind to the extent that she desires. Instead of this response, I will say: I was just thinking about how nice it will be when I can be with you in person again every night and we can cuddle on the couch like we used to instead of being reduced to phone conversations like this. (She lives in the beautiful city of Savannah, GA right now while I'm marooned in the plains of a Southwest Georgia hamlet.)
She is slightly mollified by this response but not entirely convinced. "You weren't thinking about that. You were thinking about the football game." She is right of course, but I'm not quite ready to throw in the towel.
"Well yeah, I was thinking about the football game, but I was thinking about what I told you too. That thought was just a little further back in my mind when you asked me. Anyway, if you already knew what was on my mind, why did you ask me?"
"I wanted to see if you would tell me," she says.
"And I did tell you," I respond. "Anyway, what's on your mind?" (Reflecting is also a useful strategy in dealing with this troublesome question I've found.)
"I was thinking about how much I love you."
"Why do you have to be so cheesy?" I say. "I love you too by the way."
Then I'm distracted by the sight of a uniformed man running down the field carrying an oblong pigskin spheroid more commonly called a football. He is dodging would-be tacklers and at last somesaults into the end zone and instantly mobbed by his adoring, ecstatic teammates.
"YEAH!" I exclaim, standing up with my arms raised, nearly dropping the phone entirely in my excitement. "Michael Vick is a bad man!" I say. "He just went sixty yards for a touchdown!"
"Ha ha!" she exclaims. "I see what's on your mind!"
"Oh well," I say, defeated.
She's a smart girl, my girlfriend.
posted by Charlie at 8:18 AM
3 Comments:
You know what I hate more than "What's on your mind?" What's up? I used to really hate it. I think it's because it's so shallow. Also because people rarely care to wait for the actual response. It's a going through the motions kind've pleasantry. I hate those.:(
In her case, she actually really wants to know what's on my mind, which always seems a hard thing for me to report for whatever reason. Thanks for commenting me back, Janet!
We have a friend who always asks "Havin' any fun?" Always makes me want to smack her. Fun? Yeah, I'm having fun washing dishes and trying to convince my son to do his homework. Fun!
Of course, it may be that when that question comes up, it's usually in the middle of something NOT fun.
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